Today as told by Dhenn.
Today was not like an ordinary day for me. It’s been a few days or may I say weeks that I realized that waiting is really hard.
Waiting is annoying for an impatient man like me.
Waiting is hard when you know have been accustomed to your own self-sufficiency and calls only to the Lord when you already have exhausted everything.
Waiting is not easy when your faith is incomplete and you are always struggling with neverending “whys”.
That was the whole picture of me. I am an impatient man, I want results, I want to do something, I want to make an effort, and waiting seems a passive activity for me.
Yesterday, the preaching hit me hard. I cried while I pray (Okay, it’s very hot and my eyes sweat). In his book, Apostle James commanded us to (not suggested, not encourage, and not to think about it) to BE PATIENT.
BE PATIENT WHEN YOU ARE SUFFERING.
I was thinking inside, how could be that be possible?
It is easy to wait when you’re waiting for something and expecting a good result.
It is easy to wait for someone you love and care for.
It is easy to wait when you know you have invested into something that you know will grow after several years.
It is easy to wait for a money when you still have a reserve in your bank account.
But, what if God asks you to wait when you don’t even know if it’s a yes or no?
What if someone you love and care for becomes unlovable and disrespectful, should you still wait without even grumbling?
What if you don’t have any money left in your bank account or investments and you are only dependent to your salary and yet you have debts to pay, should you wait for the blessing of the Lord or will you borrow money again?
What if one day, your investment didn’t grow after 10 years, should you still wait?
Then I realize that:
IT’S HARD TO WAIT WHEN YOU ARE SUFFERING.
WAITING IS NOT EASY WHEN THINGS ARE NOT GOING ON YOUR OWN WAY.
And what’s more painful to see? Our trust and complete dependency on God starts to fade.
Boom! I am guilty your honor.
This somehow reminded me of my devotion today in Matthew 19:13-15 “Jesus said, let the little children come to me, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
In our society, children seem unnoticed. We as adults think of them as someone who doesn’t care yet, has no responsibility and someone who only loves to play. So sometimes when things become uneasy, we try to tame them so they will not become noisy when the service starts.
But one thing I noticed here; it was the same thing what the disciples did when children were coming to Jesus! The disciples prevented them to come to him! But Jesus rebuked them, saying; let them come to me!
Now it was odd, in Jewish practice, the parents usually come to the rabbis to bless their children. In fact, children are such an important being in the Jewish community! But why the disciples preventing them to come to Jesus? It’s because they think they will do nothing and will only be a waste of time for Jesus.
But of course, Jesus wasn’t literally referring to the children. I think he metaphorically described children as an object lesson for the disciples.
This reminded me that children don’t have fear nor any doubts. They are completely dependent on someone who feeds them. They cried, they quarrel and get angry with other children yet after a few hours they can forgive each other. And one more thing, children when they have been rejected, they feel disappointed but after a few hours, they will try again!
We as adults doesn’t have the ability like that. As we grow, it will be harder to forgive once trust is broken. It will be harder to trust God when things don’t work out the way we prayed for it. It will be harder to get up when we have been rejected a few times.
That’s what Jesus is talking about. Be an adult yet be like children. Not being childish in his own ways but be child-like in faith, in forgiving, and believing in greater things.
Today I am blessed because a friend reminded me of it. For years I constantly ask God and sometimes I ran out of “whys” because for every rejection I experience, though I know it has helped me to grow as a person, yet, it builds up a scar on my heart as time goes by and preventing myself to have my faith fully dependent on God.
I was thinking that I fully surrendered my will to God but deep inside I have my own reservations. Just like “Lord, I am hopeful and claiming success on this.” But then I am setting myself ready to accept rejection and defeat so it will not be painful just in case. I have been accustomed to that and not being fully aware that I’m allowing myself to be defeated even it is not happening yet.
Today I felt my faith has been renewed again because of that conversation. And I can say that;
WE CAN ONLY HAVE PATIENCE IN SUFFERING WHEN WE HAVE CHILD-LIKE FAITH.
James gave us a few examples of what is it look like to have patience:
- A farmer who waits for the harvest.
- A prophet who waits for the Lord, like Elijah and yet he waited and did so many great things for the Lord.
- Job who suffered and lost everything he had and yet he was fully dependent on God and never utter any curse or questioned God why it is happening to him.
Yet in all of these examples, Jesus was the greatest. He suffered, despised, rejected, waited, and not even a complain came out from His mouth and yet He willingly submitted Himself to man, for us to be reconciled to God.